Did You Ever Wonder?

Did You Ever Wonder?


Do you wonder about what might have been,
Before I was with him?
Do think about the way I could have held you tight,
Or how you broke my heart that night?
Do you think about my smile,
Or why I haven't written in a while?
Do you wonder why I talk to you about my life,
Or why I come to you for relationship advice?
Do you wonder why I talk to you about him,
Or think how our chances got so slim?
Do you miss me at night,
Wishing you could hold me tight?
Do you think about how I cried,
Or feel like you want to die?
Did you ever laugh at my pain,
Or did losing me make you insane?
Do you even miss me,
Or wish you hadn't set me free?
Do you sit alone and wish for the past,
Or wish we could have made it last?
Did you ever wonder if I was lying,
Or if I still sat up at night crying?
Did you ever wonder why my smile got so bright,
When I talked to you each night?
Did you ever wonder why you were the only person I talked to,
When I had other things to do?
Did you ever wonder why looking at you always made me a little sad,
Or how at you, I could never be mad?
Didn't you know I loved you?
And how I wonder'd why couldn't you love me too?
Did you ever wonder about the dreams I had about us,
Or how I'd encourage you on just because?
Did you ever wonder why I kept saying you mattered,
Even when my small smile was shattered?
Didn't you know I loved you?

The Storm

I step outside, feelign the cool air wash over me, relief from the ever-constant heat and sunshine. I bend over and slowly untie the strings to my shoes, anticipation making my hands shake. As I slip off my socks and and shoes, the storm comes closer, andry and frustrated. I pull off my light blue hoodie, taking my time, the storm screaming in my ears. It finally descends on me, demanding I listen, screaming at me, tearing at my clothes. It's angry howls constantly ring in my ears, it's claws raking my hair into my face. A small smile creeps onto my face, angering the storm even more, as if I'm mocking it. It's frustration grows as the tears start to fall now, huge drops drowning the world. Maybe it's like me? So frustrated with this world, so misunderstood and angry that it holds it all in? A volcanoe of emotions waiting to explode? Maybe it's so frustrated with this pathetic life that it wants to give up but can't because so many depend on it? Maybe it's tired of no one listening to it so it cries and screams it's curses at the world? The thought pops into my head as I take a step out into the wave of tears, my face upturned, eyes closed. The storm gets bigger and louder, the tears mixing with my own, soaking my shirt, stripping me clean. It senses my own frustrations and worries and plucks them from me, lifting the heavy burden from my shoulders. It grows in force, strenght coming from my struggles, leaving me empty and fragile as a leaf. It mixes our frustration, anger, and pain and throws it at the world, cursing it for not being what we want. Fascination crosses my face as I realize it's a wild and angry beauty that demands respect and awe. Wave after wave flows over me, giving me back a small part of my frustration to use at my will, crushing me under it's weight. The frustration makes me rigid, my knucles white agaisn't my jeans, my jaw strict, until finally, I throw back my head and scream my anger and frustration at the sky.The wind rubs my cheek gently, understanding me, leaving me emptier than before. As if sensing my wearniess, the storm starts to let up, the tears falling slowly, kissing me now. Slowly, it stops, the frustration and anger gone. With one more brush agaisn't my face, it's gone as quickly as it had come. It moves on with a new determination. With it goes my own frustrations with this world, leaving me on my knees wide eyed and empty. After a time, I slowly stand up, soaking wet. I look to where it had gone, silently thanking it for taking the time to listen to my stupid frustrations and problems when no one else would. Then, with one more look back, I go back inside, a new start and another day lying before me....

Alone

Alone...

So take the gun and put it to your head,
Pull the trigger and end the pain...
Maybe everything will eventually be the same
And you can go on living without him
Acting like it's never been
Or go and drown in the sea
For then you will finally be free
Don't stop breathing
It keeps him living
Seperate bodies
One single heart
Once sown together
Now torn apart....
Now all the memories of yesterday's past
Are fading fast
And you can't stop the tears
From secretly telling you your fears
So you keep on crying
With a smile on the outside
While inside your dying
No one knows the pain
All you lost when you could have gained
So just pull the trigger
Cause in the end,
Your alone without a friend.....

Emotions by Julia Ross

Emotions by Julia Ross


Bottled up
Straining to be free
Choking them back
Blocking them out
Needing to come out
Refusing to let them
Appearing fine on the outside
Broken on the inside
Thoughts raging
Cannot cry
Holding it all in
Then slowly but surely
They start to come out
A sob escapes
Can't swallow them back any longer
A tear rolls down the sad face
Splashes to the ground
Blinking them back
No longer works
Breaking free
Tears begin to fall
Starting to handle
The pain, anger, hurt
Forcing them back no more
Sorting them out
Letting go
Moving on

Drowning by Thomas Warren

Drowning by Thomas Warren

The sun has fallen, ships lost at sea.
Waves crash loudly, all around me.
I'm drowning, with every breath I take.
I'm looking for a way out...

I once was told
that men desire the truth,
but those who seek it die.
The strong become weak,
the weak fade away...

I've stared at the gray sky,
for what seems a lifetime.
I'm falling...
suspended with invisible wings...
I'm slipping
surrounded by a current...

I can't hold on anymore.